All posts by cececharli

The stalker inside

Turns out I am a “Millennial” – I found this out this morning, when researching what one was, so I could right about the fact I am not one. I was wrong.

However, I misunderstood what the word meant until I looked into it. I believed millennials to be lazy with very little ambition – this is partly right, though in the strangest of ways. It’s not that we don’t have ambition, it’s that we crave that perfect work-life balance (that probably doesn’t exist) but is that so wrong? To want to work hard, enjoy life and make enough money to live that life as well?

I know that’s not what we were taught, or even what is expected of us. I for one, could never see myself working 9-5, mon-fri behind a desk for someone else. But I LOVE hard work, so I would work 7 days a week doing something I loved, or for the right cause- so that’s what I intend to do.

Anyway, back to the subject- me, the stalker. As I was sat texting, or scrolling the other day a notification came up, *someone you knew 6 years ago just posted a new photo* – so, of course, I had to see, it meant nothing, I met this person maybe twice, but I needed to see what had happened to this person who had little-to-no impact on my life. We can blame social media for this odd addiction, but is that fair, I remember my parents talking about anything and everything that had happened to the kingston’s who lived down the road and one scandal or another, the difference with social media coverage? It’s straight from the horses mouth.

My aim over the next month will be to weed through the hundreds of “friends” and start culling, if I don’t know them to start a conversation with, I don’t need them. True friends are worth their weight in gold, time to take care of them and stop wasting precious moments on those I don’t know.

Not just another day.

Today was a good day!

What a difference it can make when you decide to make yourself happy. Today I chose to make decisions that better myself and the business I work for! I made big choices and tried new things with social media which all paid off, getting that interaction with clients can give you such a buzz.

I work for a gym, an amazing gym, based on results and customer service, each client is known personally, either as a personal trainer client, semi private or group member- each one is treated as an individual. I never thought in depth about the fitness industry and how much that personal touch can make a difference to a clients results.

One of the key things I have noticed is that fitness and getting healthier is that it is all in the mind! My boss at work is an inspiration, when he spoke to me today something he said really resonated with me: it’s not about will power, that doesn’t exist, it’s about wanting more than anyone else, more than you have ever wanted anything- that is how you get great results.

I have my 12 week stats on Friday, my goal is to have dropped 12kg and 10% body fat, it is a high target but for once I feel I can achieve it. And you know what? If I don’t, I keep fighting. I want this.

So tomorrow is a new day, and I will push harder, be stronger and keep growing and learning. If I do that everyday, I’ll be perfect in know time, right?

The 6-week blitz.

This is a new one for me, stepping up an already intense exercise regime (intense for me, as my exercise regime used to be hoovering the house once a week), but needs must and I NEED to be in shorts by June. (OK, obviously no one needs to be in shorts, well, ever, but I want the option)

So after a long weekend off plan, with a family-sized bag of mini eggs, 2 cream eggs and – you know what, I can’t even finish that list, so lets just a LOT of chocolate! I am now 6 weeks away from the official start to my Summer. The TT races on the Isle of Man, I will be going home for 2 weeks to enjoy the TT, and I say enjoy because I won’t be working it for the first time in forever.

This means, booze and burgers (I mean, I will try my hardest not to, but come on!)

So from now until then, it is time to up my game. I will dropping my dairy right back (my obsession with babybel’s is getting ridiculous), carbs are back off the menu (at least for the first 2 weeks), no little cheats chocolate squares, and most importantly- upping the exercise. This means, 6 cardio sessions a week and 4 weights sessions (thats up from 4 and 2) I am strangely exciting about this, I love having a target and always respond well to the pressure, so fingers crossed.

I have my 12 week photos on Friday, so will post something with them- I am also going to have a photo taken in shorts and a tee (oh god!) to motivate me for the 6 weeks. Never underestimate the importance of photos, yes measurements might sound impressive on paper, but it is the photos that really light a fire and inspire you to keep going.

I will continue to document this journey through here and on instagram, as well as my random thoughts as I go along.

Something I have noticed, and I wonder if there are any other weightloss enthusiasts (I love that expression, who is enthusiast about this stuff? especially if you love food, like me) is that, for once, this journey of weightloss has not been documented on facebook, I have kept it away from the prying eyes of family and friends, and instead looked to strangers for support. Whereas in previous attempts to lose weight, weightwatchers, diet schemes, shakes (you name it!) I shouted about the 10lbs a lost in a week, this has been different. I think that is important, it means more to me than a photo or a statement about how much I have lost this week, it is for me. My health. My way. My life.

Going it alone.

One of the key steps of adulting, so I am lead to believe, is working out what makes you happy, and trying to do it on a regular basis. Something I have never understood is people who hate their jobs, not just people who dislike they jobs, or people who are bored in what they do, but fully hate going into the office or wherever everyday. it just doesn’t make sense to me, because most of us spend more time at work than anywhere else, so why on earth would you spend the majority of your life unhappy?!

I have, luckily, never been in that position. My previous job was tough, stressful and took it’s toll on me emotionally, but I still loved what I did and the people I worked with! The hard part about moving away and changing our lives so much, is the pressure I put on myself. I said the classic “this year is about me, I am going to get my shit together” OK, and so far, it’s not too bad, I have lost weight and found a love of exercise but my career is not going anywhere.

So this is what today’s little write up is about really, I want to start my own company. Since I can remember I have always wanted to work for myself, it is not that I think I can do it better than my previous managers, it’s just, I would do things differently.

I have the ideas, the name, the brand, the thoughts and the attitude to make it work, but you know what? I am scared. I need someone to hold my hand, tell me everything will be alright and that I am making the best decision, but no one will. I’m an adult now. Apparently.

So where does one begin? Is there a guide on this? I am working part-time at the moment, so that is perfect, but what is next? Crap. I thought I would be better at this. Hopefully I will get better, and as I do, hopefully this blog will be full of useful tips for the next generation on how they can start a business of their own.

Wish me luck.

 

*P.S. if you couldn’t have guessed these are my Easter leggings, I felt like an Easter egg wearing them too, so- winner.

The empty pit.

Since some of my posts are bound to be about my recent discovery of healthier foods and regular exercise I should probably give you a brief background into my less than healthy past. Up until January 27th 2016 I was a 17stone, eating machine with little understanding of the word cardio. (I would walk up a flight of stairs and be impressed with myself!)

I had made the decision that since we were moving house I would make changes in my personal life too, and getting healthier was top of the list. (New year, new me and all that malarchy*!)

I met up with a personal trainer and nutritionalist at a small gym and was inspired by his words. 3 months,over 2 stone and a new found love of working out later and here and I am. (There is plenty more to this story, but we have time for that)

Today’s feeling: hangrover. (Hungry, angry, hungover)

So my diet these days consists of mostly protein, with a sprinkling of green vegetables, and no carbs. (It works) Today however, it has consisted of carbs, carbs, sugar and a sprinkling of chocolate. This is down to one thing: the bottomless pit of a stomach I have when I have been drinking.

Look, I am a sensible girl, I have a strong will and have managed to avoid the unhealthy options for quite a while, but that means I have avoided my love of wine too. So when those flood gates were opened yesterday, there was no stopping.

12hours later and no amount of water will fill the void, so it’s cheesy carbs to the rescue. (Although, to be fair to me, you try and find a healthy scrambled eggs or no carb food at Manchester airport in a rush!) So here I am, on a plane home, instantly regretting the bad food I ate and tying to work out how I can rectify this in the gym.

Morale to this story, booze aren’t the enemy, but be prepared for the monster with no will power to be in control the day after. The guilt started the second I finished the muffin and will haunt me for days. Being healthy is hard, wine is easy.


*the word malarchy does not get enough credit and should be used more in modern culture. #malarchy

Perspective

I have just been travelling back to the Isle of Man (where I grew up) for a few days. Now, I hate travelling, I am sure there are many reasons for this… but today was a particularly bad experience. However, as with every experience in my life it was all very quickly put into perspective; and perspective, well, that’s something that hits you like a ton of bricks.

This particular morning, I woke up and in the pitch black walked to the toilet, barefoot (this fact is important) just before I reached the loo, I stepped in cat sick. (at this point I really should have realised how the rest of the day would turn out) I then went downstairs, still barefoot (I don’t really know why) and once again stepped in cat sick. (any cat lovers out there, please don’t be worried, my cats are just idiots who eat too much grass)

So following this vomit fest around my house, I was in a hurry to get to work and locked myself out of the house. (the back door was open, luckily) I went round, came inside, let myself through and left the house again- halfway to work and I realised I had left my breakfast shake in the front porch. At this point I was very aware that I had flights to catch that day so needed to leave plenty of time for everything that could possibly go wrong.

Luckily, work was fine and I got to the airport without a hitch. Once there however, I left my boarding pass on a seat, dropped coffee down myself and almost left my laptop in the lounge. After this quick barrage of things going wrong a squeezed myself into my seat and sat uncomfortably for the 45minute flight. Now, being a 6ft woman is hard in this world (as I type this, I am hunched over a table that is too low for me) but airplane seats and cinema seats are the WORSE.

This is where it happened, the most painful part of the day, physically and emotionally. As I stood up, I caught my bad* knee on the arm rest of the chair, perfect height for a 6footer. I thought I would throw up, or pass out the pain was horrific. Instead, I just started to cry, big baby tears, in front of the queue to get off the plane. I blubbed like I had a boo-boo.

As I sat waiting for my connecting flight, I was thinking how shitty my day had been, which leads to how shitty my week had been, which is never a good route to look down… why do we do it to ourselves? Start thinking about when are lives where better, or when was I last really happy? It’s all just self-pitying, most of us (and I say most, because of course there are exceptions) actually handle the everyday stresses and the hideous one off events in our lives well, it is only on reflection do we start to question if we handled it right, or if we could have done something different. One of my favourite things I have read is “Don’t look back, you are not going that way” and it is so true, I like to look back sometimes, but for the happy memories.

Anyway, I digress. After all of this self-pitying, thinking and reflection. I walked on the next plane and was sat with a row free in front. (please don’t be children, please don’t be children) Once the plane was full, a family came on, a family with two young girls, a baby strapped to the mother and young boy in a wheelchair with two braces on his legs. I made idol chitchat with the father, as he spoke though, he had this positivity that surrounded him. Somehow throughout the stress of the journey and the ailment of his son, he was positive, the mother as well, smiling and chatting away to her son and baby. The girls were unruly (what girls aren’t) but nobody particularly minded, you try sitting in a family of 5 on a 4 across plane! After some bribery with olives (for the kids, not me) the girls were fine, settled and happy.

It was about this point the ton of bricks hit me. Ouch. I mean, yes my knee hurt, and yes I had a bit of crappy day, but my life is NOT so bad. Now, please don’t get me wrong, I did not see the family and think “their life is awful, mine’s not so bad” that’s not it. What it made me think was, we are all capable of handling whatever life throws at us, we just need to find the strength.

And that’s what I intend to do, there will be crappy days and worse to come, but if we know that deep down we can handle it, then is it so bad?

Here’s to the better days.

 

*everyone has a bad knee, the one always sore, always a bit bruised and hurts when you go down the stairs

I think I might be crazy.

So, hi, this is potentially the 4th time I have attempted to write a “blog” so maybe 4th times the charm?

I think the reason I failed so many times before is that I was writing about one thing I was doing, rather than just writing about it all, every journey, every failure (a lot of them) and every adventure.

Lets start then. I should probably address the title of this post; *crazy is such a strong word, perhaps odd would have suited better* have you ever thought, I was meant for more?

Like Simba in the Lion King, I know there is something very important I am going to do with my life. When I was younger I thought – I want to be famous, when I was in my early twenties I thought- I want to be successful, and now I think I want to make a difference. That’s not to say those other feelings and thoughts have gone anywhere, I still want to be a famous actress/singer/lion tamer (I’ll take anything), and run my own hugely successful company (with 4 assistants, one who just gets me coffee) but now, I don’t want to just do it for me,  I want it to have meaning.

So I guess that’s about where you guys are joining me in my journey, in my late-twenties, with nothing much figured out, but an overwhelming feeling to do more.

I have very few people around me that are at the same point of life as me; I am married, no kids, 2 cats & a dog. We have all recently made the move from where I grew up to where my husband did and as a someone with no children (no school mums) and out of education (no school friends) it is really hard to make friends! (I am hoping this is something a lot of people find, and not just me?!) That is sort of how this blog idea started, I like to talk, as you may find out (if you have even gotten this far) and I was missing an outlet, so I created one – ta da!

For those wondering exactly what my posts will be about, and why on earth they should read it, I don’t have an answer. Although I can say, there will be talk about exercise and getting healthier, general musings about my often irritating positivity, a look into the journey that is my life and, most importantly me, Charli, attempting to adult.